Children Coping with Crisis
What can I do as a Parent?
• Acknowledge and validate your children’s feelings.
• Give permission for your children to cry, as this an important part of the healing process.
• Knowing what to say is often difficult. When no other words come to mind, a hug and saying “This is really hard for you/us.” may help.
• Try to recognize the feelings underlying your children’s actions and put them into words. Say something like “ I can see you are feeling really sad about this.”
• Recognize that grief may be expressed in many ways, i.e., through anger, tears, laughter, changes in their sleeping and/or eating.
• Recognize that your child may be fearful for his/her immediate safety. Reassure your child that they are safe.
• Recognize that a current death can bring to the surface emotions from previous loss.
• If your child expresses an interest in attending the funeral, it is important that an adult accompanies them for support.
Help you children put their fears in perspective.
• Help children to feel personally safe
• Try to maintain normal routines to provide a sense of stability and security.
• Help children to feel a sense of control by taking some action, i.e., cards and letters of support.
• Prepare for difficulties with children at night, i.e., difficulty falling asleep, nightmares, etc.
• Maintain regular bedtime routines such as story time, in order to provide a sense of security. Special stuffed animals or blankets may be especially important right now.
• Recognize that children will need extra hugs.
• Having open and honest communication with children about tragic events is very important.
That and more resources can be found on the Billings Public School Website.
As a parent myself, my heart is broken for the families that are going through loss and survival. I can only imagine the pain and the grief involved. I have dealt with some of the issues that have happened, but nothing compared to the loss of a child in such a senseless way.
Tomorrow, the staff has a meeting first thing to get us all on the same page. Mr. English wants us to be prepared for whatever comes into the classroom tomorrow. We will feel it out, and see how it goes. Seeing how morning meeting in our room is a time for honest sharing and feelings, I am sure things will come up. We will also view Rusty's morning message which will help us to focus on the ways we can help and remind us to be kind and true to our hearts.
I want you to know that I DO NOT feel comfortable and I will not be discussing details of Friday's event with 4th graders. If asked, I will direct them to back to you or to Mrs. Neese, the counselor. I DO feel comfortable however discussing how they are feeling about it and how they can move forward. I will also stress that I am trained to keep them safe, and that Bitterroot, as a school, is well prepared for emergency events. Things happen, and yes sometimes those things are very, very bad, but we are ready for any event possible. I have absolute and complete faith in Mr. English to lead us in any situation. That is the teacher in me talking to you.
Now, let me talk to you as a mom. I am petrified to send my children to school tomorrow. I honestly even said out loud that homeschool looks pretty good right now. I trust the system, but I am scared. My kids are my everything, just as yours are. Their safety is my number one priority as their mom. I want to keep them home safe with my loving arms around them. But, as a mom, I also know that I have to show my faith to my children. I have to be brave for them. They are looking to me to show them the way. They know that I am only a phone call and a five minute car ride away when they are at school. I have to believe in all that I know is good. That is how I will allow myself to hug them extra tight, and drop them off tomorrow. I can't control the world, and I can't shelter them from evil. I have to model kindness and faith for them. I have to believe.
I give you my word, I will do whatever I can to keep your child safe while they are in my care.
We will end our morning meeting tomorrow with a moment of silence for those that were involved in the event. As a teacher, I am not allowed to offer words aloud during that time. If a child feels the urge however, they will be heard. It is human to feel sad and scared. That is what makes our life on Earth so meaningful. I will honor all feelings during this time. We will also celebrate life and a happy and healthy future!
Speaking of happy! Look at those beautiful trees above! Wow! And, we finally get to see Chubbs! Love it Collin! Smiles on this face for sure! Thanks so much for sharing them with us.
Don't forget the holiday concert this Wednesday. Make sure to check with your child to see if they have a speaking part and if they do it in the morning or afternoon performance. They sound amazing!!!
The kiddos spent last Friday be creative authors. Poor Ruldolph had an accident and his nose changed from Red to _____ in color. They wrote a story to share how that horrible event happened. We shared them in class. Too dang cute and funny! I am going to take pictures tomorrow, and Collin and Natalie have their stories recorded live for you to enjoy as well. Look for the slideshow on tomorrow's blog. Ask your child what color their nose was and have them retell the story to you. If they do, write the color in the planner for $20 tomorrow.
We will be doing some other fun holiday stuff this week as well. Tis the season!!!
I hope with all that I am, that you all have a restful evening tonight! I am so blessed to have such amazing kids and families to work with!
